68 Thoughts I Had While Watching Jennifer Lopez and Brett Goldstein in ‘Office Romance’

Below, find absolutely every thought I had about Office Romance:

1. I wonder how much it costs to use “You Sexy Thing” by Hot Chocolate in the opening of a movie these days?
2. I mean, Netflix famously has the cash.
3. The concept of J.Lo being “way more charming over email”…unlikely!
4. That’s not shade aimed at J.Lo’s emails (I’m sure they’re great), just a nod to how effervescent she is!
5. Having to clarify that a work dinner is not a date, mid-work dinner…oof.
6. Is that Nikki Glaser, or a different blonde woman?
7. It’s a different blonde woman. Sorry, all.
8. Getting-scabies-from-an-ex representation!
9. Actually, I got scabies from a friend’s ex who slept on our couch, but potato, po-tah-to.
10. I know I’m not supposed to like this drunk protein bar-eater, but I do.
11. Just once, I want to yell “Dessert is on me” to an entire restaurant and actually mean it.
12. All these red-flag-coded girls are so me (oversharing about IBS in the workplace, etc.).
13. Betty GILPIN 💜
14. I so don’t get the rom-com trope of pregnant women being eager to rush back to work once they have their baby.
15. If I ever give birth, someone’s going to need to figure out how to keep me afloat in a hot tub for the rest of my life afterward.
16. Bradley Whitford?
17. Okay!
18. “Holy shit” is honestly the appropriate reaction to witnessing Jennifer Lopez in all her backlit splendor.
19. “You glow” seems like a potentially actionable thing for a lawyer to say to his female client.
20. Okay, I don’t care about this airline drama.
21. …Which is unfortunate, since that’s the bulk of this movie’s plot.
22. I do want to fly AirCruz somewhere.
23. Ibiza, ideally.
24. Tuning out for this extended boner bit.
25. Ah, so J.Lo is an airline nepo baby!
26. British lesbian?
27. Incarcerated British lesbian??
28. Okay, I need to tune back in.
29. I’d actually rather be called an “odd prude” than a “choosy queen.”
30. “If you fuck an employee, you will lose your airline over that shit.” Relatable!
31. Brett Goldstein is kind of giving sexy Mr. Bean.
32. Actually…maybe Mr. Bean is sexy Mr. Bean.
33. Humor is hot!
34. Hey, it’s Betty Suarez’s dad Ignacio from Ugly Betty.
35. Hey, it’s Buster Bluth from Arrested Development!
36. Or should I say Gary Walsh from Veep.
37. Ooh, J.Lo can fly planes?
38. Not just deal with weird aircraft-related lawsuits?
39. Ugh, really? A turbulent-flight-with-amateur-pilot plotline?
40. Girl, the Love Story finale!
41. Oop, I guess she’s no amateur! I’ll eat my words.
42. Ugh, I want a piña colada.
43. Netflix rom-com protagonists have all the luck!
44. Okay, this cover of “Fade Into You” by Mazzy Star rocks.
45. Although it would rock harder if I were drinking a piña colada.
46. Aaaaaand…sex.
47. Aaaaaaand…Amy Sedaris!
48. That’s actually far more exciting to me than the sex.
49. If there’s one thing that’s narratively binding, it’s rom-com protagonists saying “This never happened” after boning.
50. Ooh, I like Betty Gilpin’s sleeveless turtleneck maternity dress.
51. Falling-in-love montage boots!
52. I keep being like “How are they getting everywhere so fast?” but…right, plane-empire mogul.
53. I like J.Lo in this giant Giants hoodie.
54. I’m bored.
55. If someone’s water doesn’t break at a comedically inopportune moment, is it even a rom-com?
56. All this has me revisiting that one great Betty Gilpin essay.
57. Ew! Baby!
58. I mean…Aww! Baby!
59. This food-truck scene is making me want to rewatch Chef.
60. Can we talk about how Jon Favreau pulls Scarlett Johansson and Sofia Vergara in that movie?
61. Okay, sorry, back to this movie.
62. Gotta love a Sharon Van Etten needle drop!
63. Did we learn why Brett Goldstein’s sister is in jail?
64. Maybe while I was tuning out?
65. Okay, happy ending activated.
66. Followed by crude deleted-scenes credits, of course.
67. Was this all expensive, carefully crafted airline propaganda?
68. I still hate 2026-era planes, sorry!